2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9. This seems to be the verse for me this semester. I am not going to lie... this has been an extremely tough semester for me. This placement had been going so well. I was read to start teaching and BOOM...I had absolutely no voice, thanks to having laryngitis and bronchitis. The students could not hear me. They would place a paper where I was sitting and I would call their name and they would just keep walking because they had no idea. People sitting right next to me I had no idea I was talking to them. It was awful. Then my step grandmother who I have become very close to, she is like another grandmother to me, fell the second week in Nov and broke a couple of ribs. She had been in and out of the hospital. I am not going to go into the whole story. But she was going to go to a rehab, but she was not getting better. They ended up bringing her home and doing hospice from her home. My dad called me this past Sunday and said they were giving her about 3 months to live. My heart sank. She was just up and moving and doing pretty well when I saw her in Sept. There is no way she can be gone in 3 months. Well I didn't think things could get worse...they did. My dad called me two days later (Tuesday) and told me they were giving her only a few days... and if I wanted to come see her I should come soon. So I talked to my fiance, we packed our bags and we got in the car and started our 7 hour trip out to West Virginia. About 1 and 1/2 hours into the trip I received another phone call from my dad telling me that she had passed about about 25 minutes ago. I just feel so crushed... I do not know what to do. I feel like this semester a lot of things are not in my favor. I definitely have a lot to be thankful for and I make sure not to forget about those things. Such as my amazing fiance, He has been by my side through everything! My wonderful family and friends. My best friend, Gretchen who always encourages me and is always there for me. And for God, who I know is with me through this all. All of this bring me back to a song by Matthew West called Strong Enough.    "You must, You must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through. Forgive me, forgive me if I'm wrong. This looks like more than I can do. On my own. I know I'm not strong enough to be. Everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up. I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me. Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough, strong enough for the both of us. Maybe, maybe that the point. To reach the point of giving up. Because when I'm finally at rock bottom. Thats when I start looking up. And reaching out." Then later in the song it says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. And I don't have to be, strong enough...strong enough." This has been very encouraging to me. It reminds me that it is ok that I am not strong enough on my own but that God is strong enough for the both of us. This is going to be a rough next couple of weeks, but with the help of my fiance, family, friends and God I am going to make it through. I have to.

Great start!

God is so good! I am loving this placement. I am at my fiance's old school, and I am loving it. The teacher is great and so are the students. They are 5th and 6th grade. Some of them are going to be a challenge but no matter what school you are at you are going to have students that are going to be a challenge. I am really liking the fifth and sixth grade so far. Don't get me wrong, I still love second grade and I do miss them. But with the older kids you can have more in depth conversations with them and they take an interest in you as a person. It is a really cool difference. I am also in a Christian school which is a lot of fun. The students are just great. They want to know a lot about me and about Joshua. I will definitely have to write more about it some other time but I wanted to blog about it today, but just check in and say that so far so good. :) I am really enjoying it!! My teacher also found out from a friend of hers who is a friend of Joshua's family, that today is my birthday. So she brought in a snack and told the class it was my birthday and had them sing to me. It was so sweet. And it is only the second day :) Joshua also stopped by towards the end of the day to see me :) Lovely day